President Barack Obama tours the Martin Luther King, Jr. National Memorial in Washington, D.C., Oct. 14, 2011. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)
President Barack Obama makes Thanksgiving Day phone calls to U.S. troops from the Oval Office, Nov. 24, 2011. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)
President Barack Obama waves to people gathered along the motorcade route from Osawatomie High School to Osawatomie-Paola Municipal Airport in Osawatomie, Kan., Dec. 6, 2011. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)
President Barack Obama talks to Secret Service Uniformed Division officers as he walks through the magnetometer in the Northwest Gatehouse at the White House, following his visit to Blair House, Dec. 9, 2011. The President told a reporter as he exited the gatehouse, "I just wanted to see what it was like getting in here." (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)
First Lady Michelle Obama and White House chefs join children from Bancroft and Tubman Elementary Schools to harvest vegetables during the third annual White House Kitchen Garden fall harvest on the South Lawn, Oct. 5, 2011. (Official White House Photo by Chuck Kennedy)
President Barack Obama visits a wounded warrior for a Purple Heart presentation at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in Bethesda, Md., Oct. 10, 2011. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)
Vice President Joe Biden greets Lance Powlis, a trumpet player in Janelle Monáe's band, following their State Dinner performance in the State Dining Room of the White House, Oct. 13, 2011. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)
President Barack Obama and former President Bill Clinton listen as Gary Le Francois, Senior Vice President and Director of Engineering, leads them on a tour of the Transwestern Building in Washington, D.C., Dec. 2, 2011. The 240,000 square foot office building is undergoing renovations to the façade and internal systems that are expected to raise their ENERGY STAR rating to 95 (out of 100). (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)
Aliens from a distant galaxy were approaching our solar system. Identifying Earth as the only habitable planet, they came for a closer look. One of the first things they noticed from a great distance was the air traffic and high-speed train movement. Realizing these were conveyances for moving people, they marvelled at the efficiency and complete lack of collisions and near-collisions. The coordination was impressive.
Coming a bit closer they began seeing the cars. Unlike the larger means of transportation, these seemed to be involved in countless mishaps and explosions. Everywhere they looked cars were running into each other and into other objects. The death and destruction was incalculable.
One alien said to the other, since these primitive vehicles are operated by humans, why don’t they assign a numerical designation to each one which could be linked to the operator. This way they could easily identify the ones causing all the trouble.
The other alien, scanning the highly-advanced computer system, said, it seems they already have done this. Perhaps it means the quantity of problems has already been reduced to the level we observe.
Coming still closer, but maintaining a distant orbit, they began to observe another phenomenon: gunshots. They recognized these as primitive projectile-ejecting weapons. With each blast their computers registered the event. They watched horrified and amazed that a civilization advanced enough to register all cars and license all car-drivers would allow this.
Wouldn’t registering those guns and tying them to the users the way they’ve done with cars eliminate much of the damage, asked the first alien.
The other more senior crew member said sadly – it’s time to return and make our report.