What I Would Love To Hear President Obama Say!

The other morning on “Morning Assholes Who Talk Shit”, I heard the spin artist Joe Scarborough get his panties all in a bunch because the head of the EPA, Lisa Jackson cancelled her appearance at a democratic fundraiser just one day before it happened. I’ve also heard the media criticize President Obama for playing golf or going to Chicago for Memorial Day. How can they go on with anything in their lives while the oil is still leaking? I wonder if all these critics are stopping everything in their lives while this is going on. Should the whole world just stop until the oil leak is plugged up? Is this similar to John McCain suspending his campaign during the election?

I can just hear President Obama say…

I am suspending my administration until the oil leak is stopped. I will give endless speeches trying to console the media who can’t seem to take their eyes off that little video feed at the bottom of their TV. I will pound my fist on the table for James Carville. I will swear at BP for Keith Olbermann and I will not try to figure out how this might have happened, that would be blaming Bush and we can’t have that now, can we? I will make appearances on every morning news show, except Morning Joe, I’m sorry but they are just idiots. I will be available for the local noon news and cry on queue, maybe Glenn Beck can give me some pointers. I will sit down with Oprah and talk about my feelings, maybe I’ll jump up and down on her couch, she seems to like that. I now admit that I don’t like getting calls at 3 am and I’ve asked Hillary to answer them from now on, it’s usually Vladimir Putin after a half gallon of vodka anyway. But most of all, I will not do a damn thing else for this country until that spill is stopped and every last drop of oil is cleaned up from the gulf, you go create some fucking jobs, you deal with the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, you go clean up the two fucking messes that Bush/Cheney propagated on me in the middle east but didn’t pay for and then stuck me with the bill. You try to pass a climate change bill or repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (and I’m talking to you Greenwald and Aravosis) and you try to roll back all the Bush/Cheney infringement on our basic human rights. I’m getting in a submarine and going down to fix that motherfucking leak.”


9 thoughts on “What I Would Love To Hear President Obama Say!

  1. You go there Jim. That was great. I wish more people would read your blog. You always nail it right on. The media is just nuts about this whole thing, that Obama hasn’t fixed it yet and not following through on his promises. Sometimes I want to just puke and throw something at the TV. Except they don’t belong to me, so I will eat another Cheeto. LOL.
    It’s seems like it doesn’t make any difference what he does or says it’s never enough. I really really dislike Repugs.

  2. oBama’s problem is that he needs to either take control of the mess or step out of the way and let those who can take care of it but he’s trying to ride the line and have it both ways.

    You can sit back and fantasize all you want but the fact that his predecessor did a rotten job doesn’t make the job he is doing good by default.

  3. Obama is being president, not savior of the world. Do you really want your tax dollars going to pay for the mess. When private industry has an accident, the American people have to step in and pay for it? Really, are you a socialist? You haters would criticize him if he did take control of it from the beginning. It really doesn’t matter what he does or doesn’t do, Republicans and Tea Partiers will criticize him no matter what.

    I’m not fantasizing about any male president, I reserve my fantasies for other things. I think Obama is doing a fantastic job and he will probably get re-elected in a couple years too and if you are still around, we can chat about it and how great a job he did in his first 4 years.

  4. There is a reason for the ‘deer in the headlights’ look he has on his face when he’s hit with something off the cuff. He’s incapable of thinking on the fly and has surrounded himself with like-minded yet still inexperienced people.

    I honestly hope that you are right and that I am wrong in our opinions of our president Jim. If you’re right things will get better soon rather than later. That would be lots better than the scenario I’m envisioning.

    We will have to wait to see what he does for us (or to us) next.

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